The Reverend Waller's Bi-Centennial

7/24/13

That seems like a normal July day to most people. It's 200 years in the waiting for me.

Today, July 24, 2013, is the 200th anniversary of the birth of my great-great-great grandfather, Comfort Babcock Waller.

This is honestly a very personal day for me. That may sound crazy to most, but it's true.

It all started with this:

My maternal grandmother's father died when she was four so she didn't remember him much. He is buried in a simple grave with a simple marker, hand-chiseled by his wife's second husband. Was he a threat dead when she died in 1944? Nope, but her second husband made sure there was an empty grave between her and Frank Waller, my great-grandfather for all of eternity.

I remember going around to the cemeteries with my maternal grandfather as a boy and watering all of the flower boxes we'd put out every spring until fall. That's when I asked about F. Waller and why he had a geranium that we kept up. That's when I learned about the past.

You have to understand that as an only child, I spent an enormous amount of time with my grandparents because they lived just a short ways away from me and I'd see them usually daily (often several times a day for hours on end). I'd do anything to please them.

Then my grandpa bought six photo albums on Sidewalk Sale day in downtown Fond du Lac, I believe in 1987 (he loved a good deal). He then asked me to help him organize the loose photos in two drawers of their desk in the bedroom. So I did. Then I heard the stories as I would ask who people were. Next thing I knew, I was typing it out on homemade biographical data sheets on their typewriter to keep everyone straight. That was the end of my leisure time; I've been hooked on genealogy ever since.

Seeing my grandma didn't know much about her dad, I wanted to help her learn. The information she gave me outside of her father's siblings (most of whom she knew), the parentage was completely wrong. She thought her father was born in Scotland in a town that started with the letter "N". When I found her parents' marriage certificate from Fond du Lac in 1902 stating he was born in Wisconsin, she was so upset, she didn't talk to me for a day! She said I had the wrong family, etc., etc. I didn't.
                                                                                                          My great-grandfather Frank Waller

 

My late Uncle Dave took me to the county Register of Deeds, introduced me to her (ironically, she had defeated his brother, the incumbent for the position) and they showed me how to check the indexes and look up the records.

I found Frank's father, Lorenzo (grandma thought it was Peter). Then I found his marriage and death records and they said his father was C.B. Waller. More digging identified him as Rev. C.B. Waller. Minister? No one said anything about minister. The initials were spelled out on one of the certificates: Comfort Babcock Waller.

The name was familiar because my great-grandfather Frank had a younger brother, Comfort Babcock Waller. I went to my grandparents' apartment and told my grandma. She said that she remembered at his funeral in 1958 that she was shown the family plot in a rural cemetery miles outside of Fond du Lac and that she was told her grandfather (Lorenzo) was buried there, along with his parents -- his father was a minister. Oh, she thought it was Methodist.

 

That was wrong too (but trust me, most of what my grandparents told me turned out to be correct, but that's another story). I looked up some obituaries and found that Rev. C.B. Waller was a Freewill Baptist minister, not to be confused with "regular" Baptists. I had no idea who they were, what their beliefs were or anything. Of course this is well before the Internet, so I was pretty much stuck.

My next lead was a marriage certificate that Rev. Waller wrote completely in his own hand for his daughter Marilla.

It listed the county she was born in back in Ohio. I contacted the county historical society who provided me with information including some records from 1840 referencing a church that was founded on his property!

Gold mine!

Of course photos would be nice. Unfortunately for my great-grandmother who was a widow at 32 in 1916, she needed a husband, quickly. Frank died April 3rd, and on September 5th, she married Clarence Thornburg. When that happened, her Waller in-laws basically said, you're not a Waller anymore. A few photos had trickled down to my grandmother and as she grew older and some of the frost melted, she was provided with a few more. She had in total five photos of her father, one of her grandfather taken shortly before his death, and zero beyond that.

I put together what I could based on the limited information that I had found and presented my grandmother with her father's biography that I typed up manually for her birthday, August 28, 1993. It would turn out to be her last, she passed away December 12th that year.

My journey did not stop, but grew more fierce. Yes, I was in college, but my thirst was not quenched. I was relentless, which I'm sure both my mom and wife can attest to. I continued to follow down any leads that I could over the years and "met" several distant relatives.






Finally, on April 1, 2004, I received an email after responding to a posting on Rootsweb.com about David M. Waller who served out of WI in the Civil War. Was anyone familiar with him? I was, it was the Reverend's son who was captured and died in Andersonville. The man had responded not only with a photo of David, but the twins....my great-great grandfather Lorenzo and his brother Alonzo, and a couple identified as "Grandma and Grandpa".









Was this the face of Rev. Waller after all these years? I was sure, but the distant relative cautioned me that it could have been on a different branch (this was through Comfort & Nancy's daughter Mary). However, the style of the photo suggested Civil War era and the "grandfather" on the other non-related branch died in 1859, prior to these types of cabinet photos. There was a tax stamp (ordered by President Lincoln) on the back of the photo he had in his custody and those were issued after the other man was dead. It had to be him. I kept thinking "This isn't an April Fool's joke, is it?".

A while later, I found another distant cousin from Ann Waller's branch, the eldest child of the Reverend. He told me that he had a family Bible and looked in it to help me update my records. He was kind enough to make photocopies and send them to me. There it was! The same photo of Comfort & Nancy Waller, identified, along with separate portraits. Comfort's even stated "Traveling preacher and cooper". I was right and beat the odds! It took me 17 years, but by God, I found it. I found it again through the Reverend's brother's family again earlier this year.

By now the Internet was quite powerful and allowed me to locate another person researching the Freewill Baptists in the Fond du Lac area. The next thing I knew, we had co-founded the Wisconsin Freewill Baptist Historical Society and found the descendant of the first Freewill Baptist minister in the state dating back to 1840. It was through this that in 2007, my wife and I participated in a Civil War re-enactment, and I was fortunate enough to represent the Reverend. It was something I'll never forget.

Focusing on the ever-growing Waller family history that I have been trying to write for the last 11 years (researching for 26), I was determined to have it written and published for the Reverend Waller's bicentennial of his birth.


Here I sit now, the deadline has come and gone. I didn't make it. Not because I failed but because so much new information has come to me since my refocusing back in January of this year, that I've found many new distant cousins, broken down some more brick walls, found more photos, filled in more blanks and through one of the cousins, even found over 70 pages of letters from the Civil War from the Reverend's son, Harlow (right).

All of this will go into the book, but I'm not there yet. I had to finally cave in to hire a professional researcher for the third time in New York because I cannot find Comfort's parents. I found his mother, but no surname. His father "died when he was quite young". I found a Comfort Waller who died in the same county the Reverend was born in, Washington County, NY, in February 1813. That means if this was his father, he never even got to meet him. Another handwritten note floated by a distant relative suggested his father's name was John. The resources in Washington County have dried up and I cannot find who his father was.

Once that link is made, the rest of the Wallers have been traced back to their origin, the Norman invasion of England under William the Conqueror in 1060. That means once I have the final link, I will have traced the family back a millennium. 1,000 years. I cannot fathom it to be honest.

I need that link for the book to be complete. Without it, I'll never be satisfied. I would rather delay the book and have everything right than hurry and continue to make updates and spend additional money for revised editions.




So here I am, 38 years old having started at 12. I had the opportunity to question three of my four grandparents and have researched all branches of my family. Some with great or limited success, others are still a brick wall, but the Waller branch has been special. Extra special for me. This is where it all started. With partial information and a scattering of photos. Now I've been able to compile a family history, starting off with the life of my great-great-great grandfather whom I knew nothing about. The draft is hovering over 700 pages right now, and growing.

Now I know that this man was an abolitionist, a minister, likely involved in the Underground Railroad as he travelled from Ohio to Wisconsin fairly frequently (and lived on one of the Wisconsin routes), had a lake named after him where he performed baptisms. I've located his mother & step-father's graves. I've not only found all of his family, and located photos of all of his children, but corresponded with at least one person in each of the branches in modern times. I have three photos of him, along with the complete original church record book from the church founded on his property in Lykens, Crawford County, Ohio, but also have photos of all of the churches that he served at. One cousin even provided me with a copy of a letter in his hand to his daughter Ann, giving fatherly advice as she left home to become a woman.

This has been one hell of a ride. I think if the Reverend Waller were alive today, he'd be surprised and happy that someone knows a little about him. I also think he'd be somewhat embarrassed that someone spent so much time focusing on him, but you know, this really wasn't about him -- it was about me. Who I am and where I came from. The story of me and of my ancestors. I've learned a lot and learned that the meaning of life, to me at least, is family. I have learned a lot from my great-great-great grandfather and I never even met him. Thank you my dear ancestor for being there, so I can be here.

 

Happy Birthday Reverend Waller,

Love from your great-great-great grandson,

Jack Copet

7/24/1813 - 7/24/2013


                                                                       CHURCHES                                             

                                      Trenton Freewill Baptist Church, Washington Co., WI

 

 

Fond du Lac Freewill Baptist Church, WI

 

Oakfield Freewill Baptist Church, WI

 

 

Waupun Freewill Baptist Church, WI

 

 

 

 

 

2007

 

 

Sermon, parade raise thoughts of days past

By Audrey Juds
Correspondent

Posted: Sept. 12, 2007

The sun was beating down at full strength for Prospect Hill Historic Day on Sept. 9. As the bell in the Freewill Baptist Church was calling parishioners to the noon re-enactment of an old-time service, the Rev. C.B. Waller and his wife, Alana, led a parade of worshippers into the church.

The couple was dressed in black, much too warm for even the one-block walk from the historic buildings across National Avenue. Some of the women following them wore long dresses and carried parasols.

As organist Kay Jashinsky was playing prelude music on the antique organ, the pastor stepped up to the altar, mopping his brow. He faithfully wore the long, black preacher-style coat, much too heavy for summer weather.

We've heard how old-time preachers would give hour-long sermons. But these parishioners, who filled the place to standing-room only, fortunately got just a sampling.

I was expecting a fire and brimstone-type sermon. Waller, however, had consulted New Berlin historian Libbie Nolan, who provided him with a copy of the Rev. Ransom Dunn's sermon, "A Discourse on the Freedom of the Will."

Reading through several pages of this material, Waller told his congregation God is all-knowledgeable and wishes to see the wicked forsake their evil ways. Yet God gives people freedom to choose between sin and holiness. Waller concluded it is through this free will the historic building was named Freewill Baptist Church.

Originally the preacher was supposed to arrive on horseback, but the horse was missing.

However, it was waiting for him after the service, so Waller got to ride it the short distance back to the park and later in the parade along National Avenue.

Among the antique equipment and automobiles in the parade, was a 1945 Jeep provided by the New Berlin Veterans of Foreign Wars Post.

Other popular events included the Spring City Squares dance and storytelling at the schoolhouse. Some of the stories were whoppers. Civil War encampment participants added to the fun with shooting demonstrations, plus there were the usual barrel rides, family games and a raffle.

The church dates to 1859. When it closed its doors in 1925 due to waning membership, it was taken over by the Freewill Baptist Ladies Aid Society, now known as the Prospect Aid Society.

Most of this building was consumed by a fire April 11, 1985. Fortunately, it was rebuilt based on plans on file in Washington D.C., and it remains on the list of national historical buildings.

The next Historic Day event is Apple Fest on Sunday, Oct. 7. The buildings are open from noon to 4 p.m. during the four festival events held each year.

Audrey Juds is a longtime New Berlin resident who worked as a reporter covering the city for 25 years.

 

 

Fundraising mishap found in the Milwaukee Sentinel from 1860

 

 

 

 

 Detailed obituary

Publicity

 

 

 

Waller's Lake

 

 

 

 

The following are marriages that have positively been confirmed as having been performed by Reverend Comfort B. Waller. They are in chronological order:

Full name of husband	Full name of wife	Place of marriage	Date of marriage	Minister
William Hughs	Elvira (spelling?) Owen	Scott, WI	January 19, 1856	C.B. Waller
James Stanley	Mary (spelling?) P. Lefever		September 24, 1856	C.B. Waller
Melvin Cole	Marsha Multer	Scott, WI	June 21, 1857	C.B. Waller
John Ruck	Emeline Buchannan	Scott, WI	October 24, 1858	C.B. Waller
Jacob Albright	Lousia Davenport (spelling?)	Scott, WI	March 13, 1859	C.B. Waller
Benjamin Frink	May Tileza (spelling?)	Scott, WI	October 9, 1859	C.B. Waller
John Drake	Elizabeth Staatz	Scott, WI	November 2, 1859	C.B. Waller
Ezra M. Rogers	Harriet L. Hazelton	Trenton, WI	November 13, 1861	C.B. Waller
Christian Albright	Mary Young	Farmington, WI	November 26, 1861	C.B. Waller
John Myers	Elizabeth Wescott	Farmington, WI	December 12, 1861	C.B. Waller
George Rowe, Jr.	Augustine Larrabee	Trenton, WI	December 22, 1861	C.B. Waller
Edmond W. Romain	Celia P. Rusco	Farmington, WI	December 25, 1862	C.B. Waller
John G. Aupperla	Mary A. Hamilton	Trenton, WI	April 15, 1862	C.B. Waller
James Little	Amanda Ann McQueen	Barton, WI	March 12, 1863	C.B. Waller
Lyman P. Root	Ella S. Foster	Barton, WI	November 5, 1863	C.B. Waller
William Brown	Henrietta Hamilton	Farmington, WI	November 17, 1864	C.B. Waller
George Lemley	Elizabeth Norman	Farmington, WI	March 6, 1864	C.B. Waller
Fredrick Schuuhr	May Bolton	Scott, WI	June 26, 1864	C.B. Waller
John D. Taylor	Elisabeth Fliggins	West Bend, WI	September 14, 1864	C.B. Waller
John A. Lasan (spelling?)	Mary A. Houk	Scott, WI	October 6, 1864	C.B. Waller
Benjamin Brottl	Betsey A. Stevens	Trenton, WI	November 9, 1864	C.B. Waller
Asa Stevens	Martha Bullard	Farmington, WI	November 24, 1864	C.B. Waller
James W. Smith	Flora Ann Thomas	Erin, WI	January 4, 1865	C.B. Waller
James E. Cole	Elizabeth J. Drake	Farmington, WI	January 29, 1865	C.B. Waller
Jackson Williams	Martha Thompson	Farmington, WI	April 2, 1865	C.B. Waller
James P. Jenkins	Ester C. Potter	Trenton, WI	April 14, 1865	C.B. Waller
James E. Gese	Loretta Church	Farmington, WI	June 21, 1865	C.B. Waller
James A. Berrian	Imilda Wendell	West Bend, WI	August 17, 1865	C.B. Waller
Newton A. Bolton	Mary L. Norton	Farmington, WI	November 12, 1865	C.B. Waller
Henry A. Ripley	Mary A. Wheeler	Oakfield, WI	November 7, 1867	C.B. Waller
Delia Hatch	Ellen Johnston	Oakfield, WI	September 15, 1867	C.B. Waller
George R. Holt	Marilla Waller	Oakfield, WI	July 17, 1868	C.B. Waller
John Albright	Adelaide E. Taylor	Farmington, WI	June 12, 1869	C.B. Waller
Edwin E. Atkins	Frankie C. Couriet (spelling?)	Oakfield, WI	December 4, 1869	C.B. Waller
Levi Albright	Arlintha L. Ingalls	Farmington, WI	December 30, 1869	C.B. Waller
Charles M. Phillips	Laurah Oakley	Byron, WI	February 20, 1870	C.B. Waller
D.C. Jamison	Blanch J. Ross	Oakfield, WI	July or August 1871	C.B. Waller
Alonzo L. Waller	Lucy A. Beirne	Oakfield, WI	March 18, 1871	C.B. Waller
James H. Beirne	Lodena A. Hubbard	Oakfield, WI	October 1877	C.B. Waller
Lorenzo A. Waller	Listina Kun Wolfgram	Alto, WI	July 15, 1880	C.B. Waller

Me and Dr. Hardgrove

I'm a complete and total nerd.

I'm a bookworm. Always have been and always will be. While my friends were out fixing cars and playing sports, I was reading about history and doing work on my family tree.

My heroes were different. My view of "celebrities" was different. Case in point, Dr. Maurice Hardgrove. All my youth, there was this really cool model of the Titanic on top of the large card catalogue in the Fond du Lac Public Library. I always glanced up at it in the adult section (it wasn't in the kids'). One day I looked more closely at the sign inside the glass case it was in and it said that it was built by Dr. Maurice Hardgrove. I looked closer and it said that not only did he make it, but he was on the Carpathia (the ship that picked up the survivors of the Titanic) when he was a boy. This was so cool to me. The odds of me meeting one of the remaining survivors of the Titanic at age 15? 0% chance. This was the next best thing. He was equally important from a different aspect of the tragedy we all know. He was my celebrity. I wanted to meet him. I wanted his autograph.

I told my mom. I was 15. "If you want to get me something for my birthday, I'll take Dr. Hardgrove's autograph." I didn't think my mom took it seriously.

She did.

It was the summer of 1990, I was 15 and we came to Milwaukee and I met Dr. Hardgrove and his wife. They were two of the nicest people you could possibly meet. We spent a few hours at their home. After a bit, Dr. Hardgrove stood up and went to a door and said to come with him. I went down to his basement and he pointed at a box, "Jack, can you please bring up that box?" I gladly obliged and brought it upstairs. It turned out to be his box of Titanic items (newsletters from the Titanic Historical Society and his postcards that he kept since he was a boy from the Carpathia and this great photo of him, with his parents, aunt & uncle, and grandparents -- grandfather was a Civil War vet). They were from Fond du Lac and I knew the names. His uncle, Dr. Frank McGauley pronounced my great-grandfather dead on April 3, 1916. His grandfather, the Civil War vet, was Maurice McKenna, a well respected attorney in Fond du Lac, who wrote the 1912 History of Fond du Lac County. They were also were friends with Fond du Lac's most prominent doctor, William Minahan, who would go down on the Titanic just two nights after this photo was taken.

Young, 8 year old Dr. Hardgrove is standing right over his grandfather's shoulder. I asked him what he remembered and he told me that he couldn't sleep that night and he snuck out of the cabin and went into the hallway. He saw two crewmembers who were talking about how the ship was turning around. Then they saw him and told him he better get back to his cabin. He also remembered that everyone tried to bring warm blankets and clothes up to the deck after the survivors were on board.

Didn't read that in a book. I heard it first hand.

The shocking conclusion? Dr. Hargrove tells me to take the box. He and his wife have no children and he knows it will be in good hands, with someone that will respect the items. I was stunned.

I became an "honorary family member", if you will. Does this kind of thing really happen? Yes it does. It made everything I knew about the Titanic even more personal. Dr. Minahan was my great-grandparents' physician; he even saved my great-grandmother's life in 1906. Now, here in 1990, another part of the Titanic legend became personal.

With the centennial of this tragedy I pulled out the box that's been undisturbed for a few years. My mouth dropped. Beyond the items I recalled, inside were old, personal photos of Dr. Hardgrove and his family. Now, I need to share them with the world. This is from my friend, who brushed history 100 years ago.

Dr. Hardgrove and his parents.



Dr. Hardgrove (Class of 1921) went to my high school, Fond du Lac High and played football there, five years before my grandpa did.

Dr. Hardgrove as a young man, entering medical school.

Dr. Hardgrove and his medical schoolmates.

Who does this? Who passes on his personal, private and irreplacable photos to someone he just met? All I can think is that he was touched that someone viewed him as someone to look up to, especially a young teenager. Rediscovering this the other week made this even more special to me. I will always have a special connection and affection for Dr. Hardgrove.

Unfortunately, Dr. Hardgrove passed away several years ago. I can assure you that although he is gone, he will not be forgotten. That is why I'm writing this now; to share his story with you.

I was so lucky to not only have one of my little dreams achieved, but it was so much more. It still ripples and affects me to this day, 22 years later.

Is there a lesson here? I guess so. Always be honest, genuine and caring in life. You never know how it will impact someone else.

God bless Dr. Hardgrove and his family. God bless the Carpathia. God bless the souls and families affected by the Titanic tragedy. It was a century ago, yes, but it affected people then and now. It is so important to remember. This is why history is important.

It's personal.



The black and white photo postcard is another gift from Dr. Hardgrove. It was a postcard he actually kept from the Carpathia, April 1912.

Frank's Past, My Future

Tonight is special. 96 years ago is special. For me, at least.

On the evening of Monday, April 3, 1916, Frank Waller lay in bed. His breathing was more labored than normal (most likely it was the death rattle). Tillie quickly sent for Miss Kitchen and Miss Tank. At ten minutes past ten (9:10 CDT which didn't exist back then), Frank drew his last breath and exhaled. His chest dropped in the room lit by a small lamp. There, in the presence of Tillie, Ashley, Esther, Annabelle, Elsie Tank and Miss Trumer, Franklin Wilson Waller died at the young age of 36 (my age right now). The entire room cried for some time, then his face was covered by the blanket on the bed.

What does this have to do with me? This was my great-grandfather. My grandmother, Annabelle, told me this story several times. She was four. Imagine losing your father at four. Your husband of 13 years, the father of your three children at the age of 36. It was tuberculosis.

That meant that little Annabelle didn't get to spend much time with her father and her memories were limited. Her most memorable story about her and her father is sad, but cute. While Frank was lying in bed in his room on the second floor. She would stand at the bottom of the staircase and he would call down to her, “Lover.” To which Annabelle would respond. “Wha-at?” And teasingly he would answer, “Nuh-sing.” Then she’d play back, “Lover!” Frank would answer “Wha-at?” and she’d giggle and respond “Nuh-sing!” Frank’s love for his children is very clear in this story. Although he was so sick, he always made time to play with his children, even if he couldn’t be near them.

Life was a struggle for the Wallers. Frank was born on the Fourth of July, 1882. His grandfather was a Freewill Baptist minister who was an abolitionist and had two uncles fight for the Union in the Civil War, losing one in the infamous Andersonville prison. He was the oldest of six children. His parents had a marriage that fell apart on Christmas Day, 1903 when they had too much to drink. In front of their family, to Frank and everyone's horror, his father struck his mother, not once, but twice! Merry Christmas? God bless us everyone? In 1904, the divorce went public and Frank's mother was accused of being a prostitute so she left town.

A few years later, March 31, 1906 to be exact, my great-grandmother Tillie was going through an incredibly difficult birth. The family doctor, J. W. Helz. Dr. Helz exited the room that Tillie was in, looked Frank in the eyes and told him there was no way she’d survive the delivery. Frank was just informed that his wife of three and a half years was about to die. Frank was unwilling to accept this and ran out of the house they lived in at 297 S. Main Street. His destination was the office of the most highly regarded physician in Fond du Lac County, William Edward Minahan. Dr. Minahan had an office located at 88 S. Main. Frank pleaded with Dr. Minahan to deliver his unborn child and safe his wife’s life. Dr. Minahan agreed and the two returned to the house, where at 9:30 AM, Frank and Gertrude’s first daughter was born, Esther Gertrude Waller.

This is relevant right now too. Not only was the 106th anniversary of this miracle, the fate of both Frank and Dr. Minahan would forever be linked to the month of April. As I stated earlier, today is the anniversary of his death. Minahan's would follow just six years and fifteen days later in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Dr. Minahan’s reported last words were probably spoken after witnessing his sister’s fear, “Be brave.” During the course of the night of April 14/15, both his wife and sister were transferred to collapsable lifeboat D. He drowned that night, his body was recovered on April 30, 1912 by the SS MacKay Bennett. His body was recovered and tagged (bodies were tagged in the order in which they were recovered) with the following paperwork:

 NO. 230. - MALE. - ESTIMATED AGE, 6O. - HAIR, GREY.

            CLOTHING - Black suit and overcoat

             EFFECTS - Pocketbook; papers; gold watch, "Dr. W. E. Minahan"; keys;

            knife; fountain pen; clinical thermometer; memo book; tie pin; diamond

            ring; gold cuff link; nickel watch; comb; check book; American Express;

             $380; 1 collar button £16 10s. in gold; 14 shillings; nail clipper.

             FIRST CLASS PASSENGER.

 NAME - DR. W. E. MINAHAN.

Dr. Minahan was 44 at the time of death, but his estimated age was 60 as shown above, showing how badly the water damaged his body. His body was then moved to Halifax in Canada (where many Titanic fatalities were interred), and then shipped to his brother Victor and finally laid to rest in Green Bay, Wisconsin on May 2. (In 1987, some vandals broke into his tomb and stole his skull! Luckily they were apprehended quickly afterwards and the tomb is under much heaver lock & key).

But for Frank, the suffering continued. His only sister -- his baby sister -- Mable died in 1910 at the age of 17. It was tuberculosis. It is possible that this was the onset of his exposure to this affliction that would eventually kill him. Next, it was his father-in-law in 1913. It was tuberculosis.

By 1915, the disease was bad enough to send him to the Tuberculosis Sanatorium in Wales, Wisconsin. Here, the archaic treatment of letting the men and women live in cottages that were open to the elements, allowing them to have "fresh air" to breathe.

Then his mother-in-law died at the end of summer, 1915. Little Annabelle came out to see her father.

How the family could afford this stay is still not known. This was a house painter. Frank had wonderful talents in singing (boy's choir) and music (he played the violin), but he had trouble keeping other jobs he had, like working as a cabinet maker or on the railroad. He drank. Is it a wonder? Looking into my great-grandpa's life, I can see his weakness. I can see his desire to escape. He was not a mean drunk. He was a very happy drunk. This is best illustrated by a story my grandmother told me years ago. Tillie would have dinner ready, but Frank will be off drinking and she’d send Ashley to get his father. A young Ashley Waller would walk into the tavern and find his father, well immersed in his drink and some conversation. Frank would beam with pride and start boasting about his son in his stupor. Ashley who was around eight or nine, would walk home with his father, trying to keep him upright to get home for the night. This was not an isolated incident.

It wasn't always good at the bar though. He couldn't escape. In the summer of 1912, Frank witnessed an enraged and drunk man stumble into a tavern, accuse the owner of cheating with his wife, then threatened him with a knife. This was in front of everyone there. The owner, Tim Norton, pulled a gun and shot the man that started attacking him. The man would die a few days later of his wounds. The men, Frank included, were summoned to court to testify as witnesses. The bar owner had one last connection to Frank....his daughter Marjorie would later marry Frank's only son Ashley in 1925.

So now Frank is gone. It is a rainy Friday, April 7th and the family travelled to the public cemetery on the edge of town.

It was the complete despair of the situation that was sinking into little Esther and her mother during their ride in the car, as poor Esther cried so hard that she wet her pants. It might have lightened the mood for a moment in Tillie’s eyes, but no doubt nothing could remove from the grief the Waller family felt.

Even though Frank Waller was respected and loved by virtually everyone around him, he was laid to rest without a foot or head-stone in the cemetery. The family couldn't afford one. It wasn't until after Tillie remarried (a short while after, she remarried in September 1916, as she needed someone to be a husband and she needed him right away) to Clarence Thornburg, who took a white stone and etched in the most simple epitat possible: "F. Waller".

So why is all this so important for me? When I was a boy, my grandpa used to take me out to the cemetery to water the flowers at the graves. I didn't understand why my great-grandma was on a stone with a man named Clarence Thornburg, yet we cared about this separate plot next to them with "F. Waller". I asked him who it was. He said that was grandma's father. That he died when she was four and then her mother remarried. So I looked at this lonely gravestone thinking my great-grandfather must have lived a life that was pretty much forgotten. That my grandmother was robbed of many great years with her father (life with her step-father was far from good, as Ashley and Esther could attest).

Then I wanted to know a little more. Who was Frank Waller? Who were these people that died long before I was born? The next thing I knew, I was writing down names, asking stories and collecting photos. Frank Waller's death gave birth to my genealogy passion which I've had since 1987. I was 12. Now, I've pieced together not only the Waller family history (I'm working on completing the book by the end of the year -- it's over 230 pages and I'm only up to 1933) but researched all branches of my family back hundreds of years.

Anyone who knows me, knows that genealogy not only consumes me, but it defines me. I've been able to meet dozens of new relatives and re-establish long-lost ties. I've enjoyed every minute and look forward to teaching my son (the 13th generation Copet) how to appreciate our history. It interlinks with history and things that I learn about every day. It makes me feel right in the world, like I'm where I'm supposed to be.

Thank you grandpa Frank. Your little stone has opened up a book generations later that is shared and understood now. That little stone means so much. I never imagined someone's past would lead my future.